


mother shark and his ragtag band of gays

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Comedy, Everyone Is Gay, Free! Eternal Suffering, Implied Past Shigino Kisumi/Tachibana Makoto, M/M, Nagisa is a Little Shit, Past Relationship(s), Texting, almost everyone has the word "gay" or a synonym of that incorporated into their name, but rei loves him so, everyones gay because why the fuck not, except gou but oh well, i say that but only three people do, makoharu - Freeform, reigisa - Freeform, rin is mother shark, so that's half, sourin, texting au, well pretty much everyone anyway, with his ragtag band of gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What do you get when you put a shark, someone with a water fetish (probably), Nagisa Hazuki and a whole lot of gays in one chat?(Nothing much, really, just comedy gold.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Chat: commander hazuki and the swimmer squad**

tachibanana: guess who's gay

 

homosexualshark: rei

 

tachibanana: well i was going to say me but that works as well

 

sousgay: yes but who's the gayest ??

 

homosexualshark: rei probably

 

sousgay: i cannot argue

 

ryugayzaki: i am HERE and i can READ

 

tachibanana: then you really should be able to read your username

 

ryugayzaki: NAGISA CHOSE THAT FOR ME

 

penguinhazuki: and im PROUD to have done

 

penguinhazuki: and anyways,,, you could have changed it ;))))))))))))))))

 

ryugayzaki: THERE IS NO POINT IN DENYING THE TRUTH

 

sousgay: why are you still typing in caps @stO P

 

ryugayzaki: I DONT KNOW

 

homosexualshark: it's the homo

 

homosexualshark: it's taken over every inch of rei's being

 

**tachibanana changed the name of the chat to: rei the gay ft. swimmer gays**

penguinhazuki: that's the best name the chat's ever had omg

 

sousgay: i agree because we are all fucking GAY

 

homosexualshark: ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME

 

homosexualshark: where can i find this mr.gay ???

 

homosexualshark: i need to beAT HIS A S S

 

sousgay: up ur ass

 

homosexualshark: that's where i thought /you/ were

 

tachibanana: IM TOO INNOCENT FOR THIS STOP

 

sousgay: what about rei he may be the gayest but he's probably a virgin

 

ryugayzaki: THAT FACT IS INCORRECT

 

penguinhazuki: REI'S PROBABLY HAD SEX MORE TIMES THAN ALL OF YOU COMBINED @@@ASSFACES

 

tachibanana: where did my innocence go

 

homosexualshark: the same place as all my fucks

 

penguinhazuki: which is

 

homosexualshark: away

 

sousgay: that's so wonderfully described wow

 

homosexual shark: thanks

 

sousgay: no problem bb

 

penguinhazuki: do not CORRUPT me with your HOMOSEXUALITY

 

tachibanana: you're dating the gayest of us all

 

ryugayzaki: i gave up pretending to be straight ages ago

 

ryugayzaki: i thought if i dont feel straight why not try to feel gay

 

ryugayzaki: and here i am

 

sousgay: what a wonderful story

 

homosexualshark: im touched

 

penguinhazuki: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

ryugayzaki: nagisa stop

 

penguinhazuki: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

ryugayzaki: NO

 

tachibanana: the gay has ENTERED HIM

 

homosexualshark: speaking of gay where's haru 

 

tachibanana: i know where he was last night if you,,, catch my drift

 

penguinhazuki: you're meant to be the mom of the group @@@stop

 

homsexualshark: makoto ur now my mom

 

tachibanana: im everyone's mom

 

tachibanana: except haru's 

 

tachibanana: that would be weird

 

penguinhazuki: and kisumi's considering the weird love affair you had going on a few years ago

 

tachibanana: there was nothing gay between us it was strictly no-penis

 

sousgay: speaking of penis where's haru

 

tachibanana: cooking something

 

tachibanana: he says hi

 

penguinhazuki: proof or it didn't happen

 

homosexualshark: what is this tumblr

 

sousgay: what are you a misunderstood shark

 

homosexual shark: ,,,YES

 

homosexualshark: does NOBODY understand my PAIN

 

tachibanana: [one attachment]

 

penguinhazuki: did you just send us a video of haru flipping us off

 

sousgay: i think he did

 

sousgay: how,,,, RUDE

 

homosexualshark: @ makoto tell haru to ANSWER HIS FUCKING PHONE WHEN I CALL

 

homosexualshark: he worries me S I CK

 

ryugayzaki: rin's turned into mother shark 

 

penguinhazuki: "mother shark"

 

**ryugayzaki changed the name of the chat to: mother shark and his ragtag band of gays**

 

penguinhazuki: anywayz bitchez howz univerzity lyfe

 

homosexualshark: WATCH OUT GANGSTA NAGISA IS ON THE LOOSE

 

ryugayzaki: thugisa

 

sousgay: alert the authorities

 

sousgay: nagisa has gone ROGUE

 

penguinhazuki: B)

 

homosexualshark: what

 

homosexualshark: the

 

homosexualshark: FUCK

 

homosexualshark: NOBODY USES TEXT FACES ANYMORE NAGISA

 

penguinhazuki: I DO @@'SHUT U P

 

ryugayzaki: anyway nagisa shouldn't you be studying

 

penguinhazuki: w WH O CARES ANYMORE

 

ryugayzaki: yoUR PARENTS

 

ruyugayzaki: remember when they wanted you to quit the swim team

 

penguinhazuki: good point

 

penguinhazuki: !!! bye everyone !!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chat: mother shark and his ragtag band of gays**

 

sousgay: hey where do you think i can get an entire fish ?

 

sousgay: like a big one

 

sousgay: like a salmon or something,,

 

penguinhazuki: why do you even need one omg

 

tachibanana: i think it might be too early to get one

 

sousgay: ive made a plan to SMACK MOMO

 

homosexualshark: stop with your typing you'll wake the baby

 

tachibanana: "baby" ??

 

homosexualshark: we got a hamster

 

homosexualshark: he's called craig

 

sousgay: yes and we are very proud to be his fathers

 

sousgay: BUT BACK TO THE POINT

 

tachibanana: aren't hamsters nocturnal anyway ??

 

penguinhazuki: if you want a fish ask haru

 

penguinhazuki: he'll probably know idk

 

harukananasgay: you know that chain fish shop ?? the rly big one ??

 

sousgay: no not really

 

homosexualshark: what big like my ddICK,,,

 

sousgay: shut up @@@rin

 

harukananasgay: i've forgotten what it's called ??

 

harukananasgay: anyway the supermarket has a fish bar doesn't it ?? try that

 

harukananasgay: it's open by now

 

harukananasgay: i get fish from there all the time

 

tachibanana: is that why your freezer was always stocked with fish

 

harukananasgay: yes

 

homosexualshark: ive just realised

 

homosexualshark: do you, sosuke and and rei have a weird cult thing with your "gay" names

 

tachibanana: forget their cult sosuke's name is spelt wrong ???

 

sousgay: it flowed better

 

sousgay: does sosukgay sound or look any better

 

homosexualshark: buT YOUR NAME ISNT SOUSKE

 

homosexualshark: ITS SOSUKE

 

sosukgay: is that better

 

homosexualshark: yes 

 

sosukgay: anything to make the wife happy

 

harukananasgay: it makes me feel less uncomfortable

 

tachibanana: ^^ same here

 

penguinhazuki: ?? the whole gang's here except rei that makes me feel uncomfortable

 

sosukgay: i mean i would call rei to wake him up but i feel like he wouldn't appreciate the disturbance of his perfect sleeping timetable

 

homosexualshark: but would it not be funny to see that ?? 

 

tachibanana: also if you spoke to rei while he was yelling at you you could sound all intimidating

 

harukananasgay: that would be funny

 

tachibanana: would you laugh ??

 

harukananasgay: if i saw it happening or heard it probably

 

penguinhazuki: rin you record sosuke you do it and me, makoto and haru will wa I T

 

harukananasgay: we're wa i t i n g

 

tachibanana: im so excited

 

harukananasgay: and unfortunately you're moving a lot and it's very uncomfortable

 

tachibanana: sorry

 

tachibanana: is that better ??

 

harukananasgay: yes

 

penguinhazuki: you're literally next to each other why are you texting when you can converse

 

tachibanana: so you can see the daily life of a Mature Couple™

 

penguinhazuki: obviously not a full day

 

harukananasgay: and what makes you think that

 

penguinhazuki: well you dont tell us when you're,,,

 

penguinhazuki: /doing it/

 

harukananasgay: we could be doing it now for all you know

 

penguinhazuki: well are you??

 

harukananasgay: maybe ;))))

 

tachibanana: STOP

 

tachibanana: we are not currently doing it

 

tachibanana: but we were like twenty minutes ago

 

penguinhazuki: ew gross

 

tachibanana: you and rei probably have sex all the time @@@shut up

 

penguinhazuki: yes but that's different

 

harukananasgay: how

 

penguinhazuki: ??? becau SE I DONT TELL EVERYO N E 

 

tachibanana: nagisa

 

tachibanana: you literally tell anyone who will listen

 

penguinhazuki: well

 

homosexualshark: [one video attached]

 

penguinhazuki: OH RIN THANK GOD THEY WERE TELLING ME ABOUT SEX

 

tachibanana: YOU ASKE D

 

homosexualshark: we are all adults here we can deal with a little talk about where the penis goes

 

tachibanana: where the penis goes

 

tachibanana: OH

 

tachibanana: HARU'S LAUGHING

 

sosukgay: I DONT THINK IVE EVER HEARD HIM LAUGH THIS IS A MIRACLE 

 

sosukgay: RIN YOU CLEVER FUCK

 

homosexualshark: ALL I SAID WAS "we are all adults here we can deal with a little talk about where the penis goes"

 

tachibanana: and APPARENTLY haru's sense of humour is as crude as all of ours

 

penguinhazuki: ?? MAKOTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING RECORD IT 

 

harukananasgay: i've stopped now

 

sosukgay: makoto you had ONE HOB

 

homosexualshark: "one hob"

 

homosexualshark: goddamnit where did all the others go

 

tachibanana: i have a single hob

 

tachibanana: HARU'S GIGGLING

 

tachibanana: IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING

 

penguinhazuki: like me ;)))))))))

 

homosexualshark: @@@@nagisa shut up i'm the hottest

 

sosukgay: I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER

 

sosukgay: HAVE YOU NOT SEEN ME

 

sosukgay: I AM A D R E A M M A N

 

tachibanana: ?? frankly i think haru's the most attractive

 

harukananasgay: what about water

 

harukananasgay: that's a beautiful thing

 

penguinhazuki: oh god

 

penguinhazuki: i forgot about haru's weird obsession with water

 

homosexualshark: how can you forget something like that

 

homosexualshark: haru /is/ his weird obsession with water

 

penguinhazuki: tru

 

tachibanana: ITS THREE AM

 

tachibanana: I HAVE CLASS AT TEN AM

 

tachibanana: ID BETTER GO 

 

harukananasgay: if makoto's going im going

 

penguinhazuki: im not being left alone with mother shark and the most intimidating gay i am o f f

 

homosexualshark: im going too then

 

sosukgay: well i need to buy my fish anyway so


	3. Chapter 3

**Chat with: tachibanana**

 

homosexualshark: SHIT I LOST CRAIG

 

homosexualshark: MAKOTO HELP

 

homosexualshark: WHAT DO I DO

 

tachibanana: um

 

tachibanana: who's craig

 

homosexualshark: THE HAMSTER I AM A FATHER TO

 

tachibanana: oh yeah you got him with sosuke right

 

homosexualshark: YES AND I CANT FIND HIM WHAT DO I DO

 

tachibanana: firstly,,,

 

tachibanana: how did you lose him

 

homosexualshark: I DONT KNOW I PUT HIM ON MY DESK AND THEN I GOT A PHONE CALL AND I FORGOT HE WAS ON THE DESK AND AFTER I ENDED THE PHONE CALL I STILL DIDNT REMEMBER WHAT I WAS FOING OR THAT I LEFT CRAIG ON THE DESK AND WAS LIKE "WHY DONT I GOT TO THE SHOP" BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOSUKE NEVER BUYS ANYTHING BYUT HOWDY HO WHEN I GOT BACK CRAIG WASNT IN HIS CAGE AND THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I LEFT HIM ON HE DESK AND HE'S GONE

 

tachibanana: wow

 

homosexualshark: IM SUCH A BAD FATHER

 

tachibanana: i really can't disagree with that

 

tachibanana: you left your hamster unattended on a /desk/

 

homosexualshark: I KNOW SOSUKE IS GOING TO K I L L ME

 

tachibanana: idk maybe just call sosuke and tell him what happened

 

homosexualshark: OH DEAR FUCKING GOD NO I CAN'T DO THAT

 

homosexualshark: SOSUKE LOVES CRAIG MORE THAN HE LOVES ME

 

tachibanana: buy a new one and say it's craig ???

 

homosexualshark: but what if crAIG TURNS UP AGAIN

 

tachibanana: IDK REI MIGHT KNOW WHAT TO DO

 

homosexualshark: NO DONT TELL ANYONE IT WILL GET BACK SO SOSUKE

 

tachibanana: UM

 

tachibanana: IDK

 

homosexualshark: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

 

**Chat with: ryugayzaki**

 

tachibanana: say rei

 

ryugayzaki: yes

 

tachibanana: if

 

tachibanana: hypothetically

 

tachibanana: my friend

 

tachibanana: who might go by the name of gin

 

tachibanana: lost the hamster he newly bought with his boyfriend

 

tachibanana: rosuke

 

tachibanana: what should gin do if he doesn't want rosuke to find out

 

tachibanana: hypothetically

 

ryugayzaki: did rin lose his hamster

 

tachibanana: yes but OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT TELL RIN OR SOSUKE I CAME TO YOU FOR HELP AND YOU CANNOT TELL SOSUKE ABOUT THE LOSING OF CRAIG

 

ryugayzaki: have you suggested that rin buy a new hamster alike to the current one?

 

tachibanana: unfortunately

 

ryugayzaki: alright

 

ryugayzaki: where did he lose the hamster?

 

tachibanana: in his room

 

tachibanana: he last saw it on his desk

 

ryugayzaki: has he tried looking behind and beneath his desk or any other possible things craig could have crawled under or behind?

 

tachibanana: idk i'll check

 

**Chat with: homosexualshark**

 

tachibanana: have you checked beneath and behind anything that the hamster could have crawled under ??

 

homosexualshark: surprisingly not i'll check

 

tachibanana: k

 

homosexualshark: okay it's NOT THERE

 

tachibanana: oh no

 

**Chat with: ryugayzaki**

 

tachibanana: rin just checked and he can't find craig anywhere

 

ryugayzaki: those were my best ideas

 

tachibanana: you've not got anything else?

 

ryugayzaki: i wish i had honestly

 

tachibanana: alright it's okay

 

tachibanana: thanks rei

 

ryugayzaki: my pleasure

 

**Chat with: homosexualshark**

 

tachibanana: yeah i have no more ideas

 

homosexualshark: sh i t

 

tachibanana: ?? do something to distract sosuke from it ??

 

homosexualshark: like wh A T

 

tachibanana: well

 

tachibanana: there's a number of ways you can do that

 

homosexualshark: go on

 

tachibanana: you can take him on a date maybe 

 

homosexualshark: sosuke doesn't like impromptu dates

 

tachibanana: idk have a conversation

 

homosexualshark: we already do that ALL THE T I M E

 

tachibanana: then maybe you could,,

 

tachibanana: you know,,,,,

 

homosexualshark: obviously i do not

 

tachibanana: have sex ??

 

homosexualshark: we already do that like ALL THE TIME and we can literally just have a casual conversation during it

 

homosexualshark: like actually we'll be in the middle of it and i can just be like "how did class go today" and he'll be like "ye fine" so THAT wont work

 

tachibanana: i have no more ideas

 

homosexualshark: that's fucking helpful

 

tachibanana: except

 

homosexualshark: GO ON

 

tachibanana: maybe you could do it /differently/

 

homosexualshark: i fuck sosuke ?? 

 

homosexualshark: 1. i don't like that idea 2. he won't like it either

 

tachibanana: NO

 

tachibanana: i mean,,, do something elSe,,,

 

homsexualshark: ?? please elaborate

 

tachibanana: well

 

tachibanana: occasionally,,,,

 

tachibanana: like once or twice a month

 

homosexualshark: i dont CARE how often get to the point

 

tachibanana: either me or haru

 

tachibanana: or sometimes both actually

 

tachibanana: kind of

 

tachibanana: ?? dress up ??

 

tachibanana: and /act out different scenarios/

 

homosexualshark: WHAT

 

homosexualshark: YOU MEAN ROLEPLAY

 

homosexualshark: YOU AND HARU /ROLEPLAY/

 

homosexualshark: I REALLY DID NOT PEG YOU TWO AS A COUPLE DO TO /THAT/

 

homosexualshark: I DIDNT WANT TO KNOW THAT

 

homosexualshark: OH MY GOD 

 

homosexualshark: DOES HARU DRESS UP AS A MERMAID

 

tachibanana: ?? he has once or twice before ??

 

homosexualshark: OH MY GOD GROSS

 

tachibanana: ITS NOT LIKE WE DO IT EVERY TIME WE,,, /DO IT/,,,

 

homosexualshark: tbh it's not a bad idea ??

 

homosexualshark: sosuke might like it

 

homosexualshark: he's a hard man to please sometimes

 

homosexualshark: but it should distract him

 

tachibanana: ?? that's good ??

 

homosexualshark: which outfits have really,, got your cogs going,,, for you and haru,,,

 

tachibanana: I AM UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSING THIS

 

homosexualshark: SO AM I BUT YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OVER THAT AND HELP ME

 

homosexualshark: I DONT HAVE MUCH T I M E

 

tachibanana: alRIG HT

 

tachibanana: sometimes a fireman is quite good ????

 

homosexualshark: you or haru dress up on that one ??

 

tachibanana: ?? me

 

homosexualshark: then it's not going to work

 

tachibanana: WHY NOT

 

homosexualshark: i need things that haru's worn

 

homosexualshark: you're like a nicer version of sosuke in your relationship

 

homosexualshark: and im a less water-obsessed version of haru in mine

 

homosexualshark: ergo, i need some of haru's outfit ideas

 

homosexualshark:  ?? what's really perked you up ??

 

tachibanana: YOU'RE MAKING EVERYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE BY SAYING "get your cogs going" AND "perked you up"

 

homosexualshark: MAKOTO WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AGAIN GET ON WITH THE TASK AT HAND

 

tachibanana: FINE

 

tachibanana: um

 

tachibanana: a maid was a good one ??

 

homosexualshark: cr OSS-DRESSING ??

 

homosexualshark: YOU GUYS ARE WAY MORE KINKIER THAN I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED

 

tachibanana: aT LEAST IT ISN'T BDSM

 

homosexualshark: /thank fuck/

 

tachibanana: anyway,,,

 

tachibanana: OH MY GOD A REALLY GOOD ONE WAS HARU'S NAVY SUIT

 

homosexualshark: wow don't get too excited

 

homosexualshark: also,,, i don't think i'd suit a navy-man

 

tachibanana:,,, um,,, once haru wore these boxers and bowtie

 

tachibanana: the boxers were like a suit

 

tachibanana: only boxers and very tight

 

homosexualshark: yeah i dont like that idea and you're creating horrifying images in my brain

 

tachibanana: um,,, this one wasn't really dressing up but

 

tachibanana: you know those dresses that women wear sometimes ??

 

tachibanana: like the really short, lacey ones ???

 

homosexualshark: the sex ones ??

 

tachibanana: ? yeah ?

 

tachibanana: well once haru wore one of those

 

homosexualshark: AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CROSS-DRESSING

 

tachibanana: IT WAS HOT SH U T U P

 

homosexualshark: N E X T

 

tachibanana: a policeman was another good one ??

 

homosexualshark: HOLD UP

 

homosexualshark: a policeman ???

 

homosexualshark: that could work

 

tachibanana: do i have to give you any more ideas or 

 

homosexualshark: ?? i think we have our one ??

 

tachibanana: oh thank god

 

homosexualshark: thank you for your ideas

 

homosexualshark: and scarring my brain with SO many mental images

 

tachibanana: you're welcome

 

homosexualshark: now i've got to find a police uniform ;)))))))))

 

tachibanana: !! good luck

 

**Chat: mother shark and his ragtag band of gays**

 

penguinhazuki: makoto,, haru,,

 

penguinhazuki: im disappointed AND scarred

 

harukananasgay: what

 

penguinhazuki: one word

 

penguinhazuki: /roleplaying/

 

harukananasgay: WHAT

 

tachibanana: RIN

 

harukananasgay: WHAT

 

tachibanana: I TOLD RIN

 

penguinhazuki: AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BECAUSE RIN TOLD ME

 

ryugayzaki: and unfortunately nagisa told me

 

harukananasgay: makoto

 

tachibanana: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

harukananasgay: w h y


	4. Chapter 4

**Chat: mother shark and his ragtag band of gays**

 

sosukgay: WHY HELLO EVERYONE

 

sosukgay: ISN'T IT A WONDERFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE

 

tachibanana: why hello sosuke

 

tachibanana: you're certainly happy

 

sosukgay: WELL THEN

 

sosukgay: ISNT THAT JUST A F A N T A S T IC TURN OF EVENTS

 

tachibanana: also @@haru can i come back into the bed now im s o r r y

 

harukananasgay: no

 

sosukgay: WHY HELLO HARU

 

penguinhazuki: wow somebody got L A I D

 

sosukgay: AND IT WAS FANTASTIC

 

ryugayzaki: sosuke is /never/ this open

 

penguinhazuki: ???? how many times ????

 

sosukgay: T W I C E AND THEN AGAIN THIS MORNING

 

penguinhazuki: wow it looks like you got makoto's turn

 

harukananasgay: he probably did

 

tachibanana: haru

 

tachibanana: h a r u

 

tachibanana: H A R U

 

tachibanana: U R A H

 

sosukgay: who the fuck is urah

 

harukananasgay: w h a t

 

 

tachibanana: it's cold

 

harukananasgay: n o

 

sosukgay: oh it's haru spelt backwards

 

penguinhazuki: makoto's really in the dog house

 

tachibanana: i'll cook mackerel ???

 

tachibanana: for every meal ?????

 

tachibanana: for three days ????

 

harukananasgay: ,,,,

 

tachibanana: ?? please ??

 

harukananasgay: fine

 

ryugayzaki: forget that it looks like he's out again

 

penguinhazuki: !EVERYONE IS HERE!

 

penguinhazuki: but rin

 

penguinhazuki: where's mother shark ???

 

sosukgay: asleep

 

sosukgay: he's pretty tired

 

sosukgay: he should be after last night

 

sosukgay: and this morning

 

sosukgay: because we did it,,,, you know,,

 

sosukgay: THREE TIMES

 

harukananasgay: dno0pkjn       .;'SASDF  nhG

..WEhgfvhjtrewq23erghbnmkKkkkkl

 

ryugayzaki: i'm pretty sure those aren't words

 

harukananasgay: haru just left his phone on the app accidentally and rolled onto his phone - m

 

harukananasgay: we'll be like fifteen minutes brb

 

penguinhazuki: oh dear god

 

sosukgay: boi they getting it ON

 

ryugayzaki: that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable

 

penguinhazuki: the makoharu sex or the sosuke thing

 

ryugayzaki: the fact that sosuke just used "boi"

 

sosukgay: ;;;;;;) it's just the way i r o l l

 

penguinhazuki: sosuke is really happy im scared

 

sosukgay: i am allowed to be happy because my boyfriend, matsuoka rin, is a WONDERFUL human being who should be given a fucking AWARD for how amazing he is

 

penguinhazuki: that's sweet

 

ryugayzaki: i bet you anything nagisa just screenshotted that

 

sosukgay: i KNOW he did

 

sosukgay: because he needs to know how FANTASTIC fucking MATSUOKA RIN is

 

ryugayzaki: do you mean how amazing rin is himself or how good it,,,,,, you know,,,, /feels/

 

sosukgay: both

 

sosukgay: and im SURE you know the feeling

 

ryugayzaki: THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I PARTICULARLY WISH TO DISCUSS THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING

 

ryugayzaki: but i'm glad everything's okay between you and rin

 

ryugayzaki: considering the thing that happened yesterday

 

sosukgay: what

 

sosukgay: what thing

 

penguinhazuki: abandon ship aBANDON SHIP

 

ryugayzaki: you don't know ??

 

sosukgay: i don't know what ???

 

ryugayzaki: nothing

 

sosukgay: ryugazaki if you don't tell me what you know i swear to god i will punch you in the throat

 

sosukgay: i mean i wouldn't but tELL ME

 

ryugayzaki: ? i would but i don't think i'm allowed ?

 

penguinhazuki: REI TELL HIM HE'S GOING TO RUIN YOUR FACE

 

penguinhazuki: AND IF HE RUINS YOUR FACE THEN IDK WHAT I'LL DO

 

ryugayzaki: it's that why you're with me

 

ryugayzaki: for my charming good looks

 

penguinhazuki: nah you're a massive @@dork and you're really hilarious without intending to be

 

ryugayzaki: thank you

 

penguinhazuki: anytime !! <3

 

sosukgay: TELL ME

 

ryugayzaki: RIN LOST THE HAMSTER

 

sosukgay: what

 

sosukgay: rin LOST CRAIG

 

ryugayzaki: HE DIDNT MEAN TO

 

sosukgay: IS THAT WHAT THIS ENTIRE THING WAS ABOUT

 

sosukgay: I THOUGHT THE APARTMENT WAS TOO QUIET YESTERDAY

 

sosukgay: well ??? DOES HE KNOW WHERE IT WENT ?

 

ryugayzaki: I DONT KNOW ASK MAKOTO

 

sosukgay: ? WHY WOULD MAKOTO KNOW ?

 

ryugayzaki: BECAUSE RIN TOLD HIM AND THEN MAKOTO DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO SO HE TOLD ME AND ASKED ME FOR HELP ON HOW TO HELP RIN

 

sosukgay: TACHIBANA 

 

penguinhazuki: DO NOT COME ON DO NOT COME ON MAKOTO PLEASE GO FOR ROUND 2 WITH HARU

 

ryugayzaki: IM SORRY MAKOTO PLEASE DONT KILL ME

 

sosukgay: i dont know whether to kill all three of you or just rin

 

ryugayzaki: is just two of them an option or

 

sosukgay: nope

 

sosukgay: it's either all of you or just rin

 

sosukgay: you were an accomplice

 

tachibanana: oh fuck i came on at the wrong time

 

sosukgay: makoto

 

sosukgay: when did rin lose the hamster

 

tachibanana: um

 

tachibanana: yesterday

 

sosukgay: how did he lose it

 

tachibanana: that he can tell you himself

 

sosukgay: what did he do something stupid like forget it was on the table and just go out

 

tachibanana: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

sosukgay: what

 

sosukgay: HE LEFT THE HAMSTER ON THE DESK

 

penguinhazuki: i feel like i should leave

 

penguinhazuki: but i can't look away

 

ryugayzaki: i get what you're saying

 

sosukgay: MAKOTO FUCKING TACHIBANA

 

tachibanana: YES HE DID IM SORRY I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ELSE

 

sosukgay: right

 

sosukgay: okay then

 

sosukgay: i have to talk to rin


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo !!
> 
> i don't think i uploaded on christmas ?? so ?? merry christmas i guess ??
> 
> also !! im back at school now, which means that i'll be updating less, but the updating will pick up again in late february/march as i'll have no rehearsals to go to or show to prepare for so !!!

**Chat: mother shark and his ragtag band of gays**

 

tachibanana: help me

 

tachibanana: neither rin or sosuke are talking to me

 

tachibanana: and sosuke isn't talking to rin

 

tachibanana: what if i've ruined their relationship

 

penguinhazuki: i dont think you should worry ?? anyways it was rei's fault not yours

 

tachibanana: yes but /i/ told rei

 

penguinhazuki: yes but because rEI CANT HANDLE LYING you're getting the majority of the blame

 

tachibanana: !! but !! i !! shouldn't !! have !! told !! rei !! if !! rin !! didn't !! want !! me !! to !!

 

penguinhazuki: if rin's mad at u for that he's such a hypocrite

 

penguinhazuki: literally i tell him things all the time and he just reports back to rei within like four minutes

 

penguinhazuki: they've got like a broffair going on or something

 

tachibanana: what the hell is a broffair

 

penguinhazuki: a bro affair

 

tachibanana: oh my god

 

penguinhazuki: a bit like you and kisumi

 

penguinhazuki: except that wasn't a broffair

 

penguinhazuki: and you weren't cheating

 

penguinhazuki: anyways my point is that you two had,, something weIR d,,, going on

 

tachibanana: 1 IT WAS JUNIOR HIGH

 

tachibanana: 2 WE WERENT DATING

 

penguinhazuki: no you weren't dating in junior high oh my god

 

penguinhazuki: how would i even know about that ??

 

penguinhazuki: i mean like a few months after we founded the swim club in high school

 

tachibanana: WE DIDNT EVEN DATE

 

penguinhazuki: IS THAT WHY HARU WAS SO WORKED UP,,,,,

 

tachibanana: we kissed

 

tachibanana: maybe a couple of hand and blowjobs here and there

 

tachibanana: BUT NOTHING MORE

 

harukananasgay: this is making me uncomfortable pls stop,,

 

penguinhazuki: is haru just always watching

 

harukananasgay: i never stop

 

penguinhazuki: ;)

 

harukananasgay: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

tachibanana: oh my god

 

harukananasgay: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

tachibanana: STO P

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short why

**Author's Note:**

> my [tumblr](http://homotion.tumblr.com/)  
> my [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/skywa.lker/)


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